I saw the photos from my husband’s first two trips to Central Asia. The drab, khaki landscape and bullet-ridden buildings, along with signs of poverty and desperation in the crowds made me shake my head, sigh, and return gratefully to my comfortable, Western life.
That is no place for a woman, definitely not for me.
Months later, he took my hand while lounging on the balcony of our cruise stateroom to celebrate our 25th anniversary and said, “I would like us to pray about our next 25 years, hon. I feel a pull to serve overseas.”
Move away? My life as a full-time Christian school counselor, women’s ministry leader, and soon-to-be empty-nester seemed in no need of drastic change. When he revealed the destination he had in mind, I imagined a heavy net dropping down to ensnare me.
I did not share his feelings and hoped the designated prayer months would give us a NO answer. My own journey to spy out the land the year following the cruise did not increase my confidence or courage. The male-dominated culture, the lack of conveniences, and the dangers plus the distance from my life-time friends and three precious semi-launched children made me feel inadequate, unqualified, and destined for failure.
I wanted to be a Caleb, take my courage from the Lord, His calling and equipping. Too often feeling more like a grasshopper than a warrior, I took up my challenge as an international school leader for seven years. I did it sometimes scared and trembling, but with faith in Him. Time after time, He strengthened my feeble knees and kept me going, rewarding in small and big ways my desire to serve Him wholeheartedly.
What challenge to following God leaves you feeling small and powerless in your present situation? Are you looking too much to your own resources and personal strength? Do you need to shift trust to His broad and able shoulders?