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I Felt Like a Grasshopper

by GAIL GOOLSBY COURAGE Being a woman in ministry Culture adjustment Purpose Trust Strength Dependence
I Felt Like a Grasshopper
“Caleb calmed down the crowd and said, “Let’s go and take the land. I know we can do it!”
Numbers 13:30
“And Moses swore on that day, saying, ‘Surely the land on which your foot has trodden shall be an inheritance for you [Caleb] and your children forever, because you have wholly followed the LORD my God.”
Joshua 14:9

I saw the photos from my husband’s first two trips to Central Asia. The drab, khaki landscape and bullet-ridden buildings, along with signs of poverty and desperation in the crowds made me shake my head, sigh, and return gratefully to my comfortable, Western life.

That is no place for a woman, definitely not for me. 

Months later, he took my hand while lounging on the balcony of our cruise stateroom to celebrate our 25th anniversary and said, “I would like us to pray about our next 25 years, hon. I feel a pull to serve overseas.”

Move away? My life as a full-time Christian school counselor, women’s ministry leader, and soon-to-be empty-nester seemed in no need of drastic change. When he revealed the destination he had in mind, I imagined a heavy net dropping down to ensnare me.


I did not share his feelings and hoped the designated prayer months would give us a NO answer. My own journey to spy out the land the year following the cruise did not increase my confidence or courage. The male-dominated culture, the lack of conveniences, and the dangers plus the distance from my life-time friends and three precious semi-launched children made me feel inadequate, unqualified, and destined for failure.

I wanted to be a Caleb, take my courage from the Lord, His calling and equipping. Too often feeling more like a grasshopper than a warrior, I took up my challenge as an international school leader for seven years. I did it sometimes scared and trembling, but with faith in Him. Time after time, He strengthened my feeble knees and kept me going, rewarding in small and big ways my desire to serve Him wholeheartedly.

Closing Prayer
Father God, Thank you for supplying the courage and strength needed to follow Your calling. I welcome Your power through my meager efforts to bring glory to Your Name among the people of the world. You are able to cross cultural, language, and human barriers to show who You are. What love You offer to those who follow wholeheartedly. I look to You daily and praise Your faithfulness to help me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Book: Unveiled Truth: Lessons I Learned Leading the International School of Kabul by Gail Goolsby In my book, I detail more about God’s faithfulness to guide and strengthen me through the many difficulties of living in Kabul, Afghanistan for seven years.
Song: Oceans by Hillsong United (Israel tour) This song describes the Christian journey, being in over our heads, and the assurance we have to call out to our loving Father to save, guide, and lead us.
Devotional: Life as a Vapor by John Piper This collection of 31 devotionals stirs up confidence in our seemingly insignificant lives placed in God’s mighty hands.
Question for Reflection

What challenge to following God leaves you feeling small and powerless in your present situation? Are you looking too much to your own resources and personal strength? Do you need to shift trust to His broad and able shoulders?

Gail Goolsby
October 12, 2021

At this time in my life, with more in the rear-view mirror than before me, I still find new opportunities and new challenges that go beyond my present abilities and knowledge. Becoming a writer in my 60s was a humbling new frontier, and I needed lots of help, which God supplied from surprising sources. I found Him just a few steps ahead of me, giving me assurance and courage to keep putting one foot before the next. Amazing!

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