After about 12 hours of non-stop bombing, the panic attacks wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t catch a breath, I couldn’t stop the shaking of my hands, I couldn’t bring my heart rate down. The words of my husband, “you are safe, we are safe” did nothing to stop the anxiety and fear that was overtaking my body and my spirit. I was facing an acute mental health crisis and I needed help.

God’s gift to me in that moment came in the form of a boat. A boat that took me and my children to safety, where I couldn’t hear the bombs and my body could finally relax. We shouldn’t have been able to get out that day. The boats were full, and we didn’t usually carry the kind of cash we’d need. We had so many things to take care of at home. But I desperately needed grace in my weakest moments, and God’s grace to me was a boat.

Did I feel like a failure? Yep, for a minute. But let’s be clear, mental health struggles do not mean we have failed or we are any less faithful. It means we are human and in need of God’s grace in a very real way.

As global workers, we often feel this pressure to be unwavering in our faith, to be strong, to be resilient. And God often gives us grace to be those things.

But His grace is even more evident, as Paul points out in 2 Corinthians, in our weakness. When we are overwhelmed, when we are exhausted, God has grace for us. When we’ve messed up, when we’ve fallen, God has grace for us. When we are in crisis, God meets us with His abundant grace.

God’s grace to me in those moments didn’t look like the grace I expected or even wanted. I would have preferred grace to be strong, grace to endure, grace to be resilient in the midst of war. But that’s not how God chose to meet me this time. He sent me a boat.