My work in Southeast Asia this autumn does not look the way I planned. In the spring, there were conversations and loose commitments that seemed to set the course for a new job. When it did not work out, I was disappointed.  

However I still felt hopeful as other opportunities I did not expect came along soon after. My course was re-charted. It was a lot to take in and I felt overwhelmed. While I had adequate time to plan and sort through logistics before everything began, there was still some hesitance.  

I realized I needed a conversation with a family member—with one of the ladies I’ve chosen to share my true self with here in Southeast Asia. They are few and carefully chosen, but they exist. Are we actually related? No. But our souls understand one another. We often discover our inmost thoughts in one another. There is genuine acceptance. Differences are not merely tolerated, but cherished as part of the whole person. I am most myself with these family members. 

I met my friend at a great pizza place where I shared details of my upcoming work. I was deeply concerned about navigating some relational and cultural issues. I still am. 

She was quiet. She listened. She asked thoughtful questions to help me identify personal triggers. My response to these triggers are usually good indicators of how I am really doing. What a great reminder to watch for these things over the next few months. If I see them popping up in my life, I know to re-evaluate my commitments and priorities. 

My friend asked questions about healthy boundaries. She listened wholeheartedly without telling me what to do or talking at me. Her gently posed questions reminded me of what is important, while letting me make the decisions. What a friend and sister! What an anchor for my heart! 

I’ve been serving in this country five years, and before this I served in another country around seven years. Relationships like this have been essential for my personal wellness and longevity in global work.  

Whether in an international church, common interest group, your neighborhood, etc., I pray you find other ladies worthy of your trust. I pray you will invest in relationships with such family members.