I was a furious storm of crossing off lists, submitting papers, and incessantly checking my email. My Type B personality doesn’t do well with mounds of paperwork and fine print instructions, which are all par for the course in the international adoption world, especially when living as an expat only multiplies the confusion. Add the fact that our adoption was happening in a separate African country from the East African one in which we are living, where the cultural rules and timelines are vastly different than our previous North American context. Needless to say, my emotions were out of control that first year as I scrambled from one requirement to another, feeling as if this adoption lay fully on my own shoulders.

Fast forward almost four years from that initial start in our adoption journey. We still don’t have our baby. But somehow, though I am still anxiously awaiting our daughter, my heart feels more at rest now than it ever has throughout this process.

What caused the change?

It resulted from my eventual surrender to a good, sovereign, faithful Father. Over and over and over again.

When I realized I had been seeking to control the outcomes of our adoption and not trusting the Lord in his timing and plan, I was finally able to take steps to intentionally train my heart to trust him again. Isaiah reminds God’s people of this when he says, “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal” (Isaiah 26:3-4).

Surrender requires trust. And trust then leads to the peace we all so desperately long for.

I can think of no better example of this kind of surrender than Christ Himself in the Garden of Gethsemane, crying out to his Father to take the cup from Him. But we know Jesus’ ultimate submission statement well: “Yet not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42). Then, “for the joy set before him, he endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:2).

We serve a trustworthy God who beckons us to surrender every aspect of our lives and our hearts to Him. When our minds are steadfast on Him, that is when we can experience “perfect peace” no matter the circumstances swirling outside.