High-performance cars are praised by speed enthusiasts for going from zero to sixty mph in six seconds. Interestingly, I find I can go from feelings of belonging to estrangement just as quickly.  Events outside me may trigger these feelings, but the greatest source of my struggle is within. 

I walked into a fitness class a few weeks ago. My friends and I greeted each other and caught up on news. With smiles all around, I felt a deep sense of belonging with this group of ladies. Dancing together was amazingly fun. Afterward, we were gathering our things, and I told the instructor in my host country’s language how much I enjoyed the class. A friend standing nearby suddenly stopped me in English, saying, “Are you trying to ask him on a date for the weekend?” She looked slightly surprised, but she also knows I sometimes struggle with tones in her language.  

“Oh my goodness, no!” I assured, covering my heart with my hand in surprise. My friend helped me work out the mistake, and explained what I intended to say. Everything resolved quickly, but I still felt a little awkward. In an instant, I went from reveling in the warm fuzzies of belonging to pangs of estrangement, foolishness, and rejection. No one was treating me poorly, but an embarrassing moment made me feel isolated and depressed. After a stressful day, I had been looking forward to the safety net of group fitness and suddenly the rug was pulled out from under me.  

Later, my husband listened and reminded me of who I am and how common awkwardness is for everyone. I had been thinking of my language fumble as something separating me from friends instead of a common mistake they would empathize with as English learners. My shame was an internal struggle, but I would not let it estrange me from time-invested relationships when God could give me courage. Awkward mistakes and needing help unite us in being human.  

Our imperfections draw us into Jesus’ life by highlighting just how irresistible His acceptance, grace, and love truly are. He gives the deepest sense of belonging, binding me to Himself and enabling me to connect with others from a secure identity.