Arriving in my first (and only) overseas posting as a new international school principal was a challenge of confidence at every turn. 

When I met people on my team or other organizations who relayed their calling or determined journey to get to Afghanistan, I felt insecure. Others made full out commitments to learn Dari and immerse themselves in the culture, even spending weekends with Afghan families. Workers in other agencies lived in traditional neighborhood housing versus our closed, Western-updated compound. We met Korean workers who had picked out their burial sites, serving with a til-death-do-us-part mindset. 

Although I knew God definitely led me to Kabul, my path seemed less, well, spiritual. 

My dad told us while growing up, “There will always be someone ahead of you and behind you.” He was letting us in on the fact that we would not likely be the best, nor the worst at whatever we aimed for in life accomplishments. He was clear that we should work hard and compete against ourselves, not others. 

To reboot my confidence to face each day in Afghanistan, I had to stop comparing myself to others. Frustration, envy, discontentment, and anger lurked just around the corner, joined soon by anxiety, depression, and hopelessness. Even in this new environment with the unique challenges, I recognized the danger zone I was stepping into.  

I dug deep into my history with Jesus, recalling His faithfulness in other pioneering ventures such as starting Bible studies when I became a full-time mom in a new city. When we relocated for my husband to attend seminary, I looked for community and ended up establishing a Student Wives’ Fellowship for four years there. He helped me create the needed college counseling office in the private Christian school where I worked for many years.  

Okay, Lord, you directed me to Kabul and I offer my whole self to Your purposes. You tell me how I am doing, and when I need to improve or change. Help me not look left or right at others but keep fully focused on Your work in and through me.