“Thanks for telling me about your work again. My family has a busy year coming up. We definitely see the value of your program, but committing would overstretch us. For now, we’re going to say no.” 

It was a good ministry program. The leader of the program told me this on many occasions and was pressuring for a commitment. In honesty, although I was annoyed by the pressure and offended by a seeming disregard for boundaries, I could see how the program was valuable. Many families were enjoying it. 

But my family was expecting a busy year of transition. A new commitment, however well-intended, would have been a stressful distraction. So, I respectfully declined. The person was incredulous. After all, why wouldn’t our family want to attend yet another awesome weekly event? 

I do not harbor anger toward this person; however, I also do not need other global workers to approve or understand my life choices. Other global workers may be doing amazing things in the community, but they are not God. They are not serving God in the same capacity as my family. My husband and I know well what serving God in our family’s capacity requires of us in work and rest. Unless it becomes clear to us that our priorities need to change, we feel free to say no. 

This is okay and healthy. There are good things going on in Christ’s name in many places in my host country. I can say yes to the people and work He’s brought to me. I don’t have to say yes to everything. In fact, to be effective in my work and healthy as a person/ family, saying no is going to be necessary sometimes. 

Saying no to good people who have their own plans for my life takes courage. I do it because the time in my short life is a sacred gift. It cannot and should not be shared with everyone. 

Sometimes there is a difference between following God and submitting to Christian cultural expectations. In the past I often submitted and experienced bitterness and frustration. However, for several years I have been gradually learning to choose Christ. I am thankful that choosing Jesus’ way for me brings peace—even when it means I must say no to others.