In Thailand I work as a high school P.E., Health, and Strength and Conditioning teacher. I truly love my job and students. When I look back, I am thankful I was willing to take on this new challenge instead of shrinking back in hesitation.  

Before I began this job my lifestyle offered a lot of protection that I needed at the time. I had lots of relationships and work opportunities outside of the tight-knit cross-cultural community the school serves. I was happy and healing outside of that community. I could be seen only by those I granted access to my life and time. I spent my days with friends I trusted in a kind and supportive community. I was not willing to get to know many global workers. Why would I? I already had a healthy life and was not going to risk the drama and hurt I felt a few years back—when I closely associated with a community of global workers in a different country. I was not hiding my heart away from the world or refusing to serve, but I was not willing to share my heart with a cross-cultural community.  

But then I was offered a job at the school, and I really wanted the job. I knew taking the job would mean being seen by Christian global workers. While I could and should still maintain healthy relational boundaries, the global worker community would see me often and I would see them. I might find some good relationships and a rewarding job, but would also be risking hurt and unfair judgment sometimes. It is hard to heal from any sort of harm— and religious harm inflicts a unique pain. 

I took the job. And yes—I have cried sometimes and have been hurt unjustly. But I have also experienced satisfaction and healthy pride in my work. I have come to appreciate other teachers and school leaders who give their best to help students from all cultural and religious backgrounds. I am often pleasantly surprised by the acceptance and kindness myself and others experience. There is generosity and help I did not expect to receive. 

It is rewarding to see my light shine on others, my heart being shared, and my generosity being well aimed. I am the recipient of such gifts as well, as other school staff bring their expertise and generosity to the table. 

I have grown. My skin is tougher in the right places, and my heart is softer in the right places.

I did not abandon my former community and life. I also did not dive in headfirst or naively into this global worker community. I maintain healthy boundaries, restful practices, and my own identity. 

However, my idea of community has grown, and I have again learned to forge my identity as Christ’s beloved among the global workers I once so strictly avoided. I am growing in the courage to be seen.