Everyone agrees that healthy relationships at home and overseas are important. 

Certain connections can make us feel like we’re being chased, that we have no control, no power to assert ourselves in the relationship. We feel like running away, hiding, not answering messages, or playing a role we don’t enjoy when in their presence, just to endure and avoid conflict. 

There must be a better way and a better witness to non-Christians who may be watching. 

We need to have courage, assess the demands and benefits of difficult relationships, and how we can engage without giving up our own need for respect and affirmation. If we determine the relationship should continue, we need a plan to move forward. 

Perhaps we want shorter visits, less frequency, meeting in public places or with others present. Certain topics or discussions can be deemed taboo. Requests for time, money, or resources can be declared as possible but not mandatory. Access a trusted mediator to help with new insights and healthy boundaries. 

We then communicate the plan clearly and commit to agreed changes. There may be testing, but for any possibility of long-term, positive change, we must stay the course in an assertive, optimistic, forgiving, even long-suffering manner.  

For many of our challenging associations, we can find a way through. Starting from a foundation that we are fully loved and accepted by God and not desperate for human affirmation, we need to recognize our own contributions to the relational problems, ask and receive forgiveness, and accept the realities of others. Unmet expectations are best grieved out and reset to appreciate the positive attributes of others that we have been blinded to in our discontent. 

Sadly, not all relationships can go the distance. When we sense our emotional or physical safety is in constant jeopardy, we may need to consider separation. Again, talking with a godly counselor can give objectivity to these sensitive decisions. 

Embracing courage, receiving strength from a loving God, and using our voice to speak truthfully, yet humbly, we can enjoy safe, encouraging relationships that enrich our lives.