It’s that time. My son and I are driving to the psychologist appointment again. Now that we are stateside for furlough, the drive isn’t as far to see the new psychologist here. Just an hour each way, but one hour is enough to feel the fear start to creep in again. It’s so hard to think and talk about painful situations from the past. It’s hard for adults; how much harder for this precious eight-year-old son of mine. He has been so strong. He keeps trying to do what is needed to get better, even when it is easier just to hide. He voices his feelings from the back seat, “Mommy, I feel afraid. This is so hard.” I tell him again, “If you weren’t afraid, you wouldn’t need to be brave. This is hard and you are choosing to be brave to keep trying to get better. It’s ok to be afraid. You are trusting God to help you be brave.” I remind him of the quote from Dorothy Bernard, “Courage is fear that has said its prayers.”
How many times have we as adults felt like this sweet little boy? How many times have we said something similar to our heavenly Father? Living overseas is tough. If your language learning experience was like mine, learning another language is hard. Keeping your identity strongly rooted in the Lord when all your securities are taken away is scary. Maybe doubt has knocked at your door. Maybe you have thought, “I don’t know if I am cut out for this.” “I could be a lot more useful somewhere else.” “Am I making a difference?” “Is my work worth all the support people are giving?”
Ladies, identify what thoughts are discouraging you and who you are listening to. Are those thoughts from the Lord? You are brave. You are living with courage. Remember what your heavenly Father is saying to you and has said to you in the past. Cling to those words. Have courage. Courage is recognizing fear and insecurities, taking them to God, and allowing Him to give you the courage you need to keep walking.
What do you need courage for right now?
I need courage for our international adoption process. We have been on a waiting list to adopt for three years. That’s been enough time to have fear and uncertainty knock at my door several times. I need courage to combat the fear that comes with the uncertainties.