“Self-Care: The practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health…The practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.” (definition from Oxford Languages). 

“I should be teaching more fitness classes.”  

“I ought to be writing more things for _______.” (Insert various writing goals)  

“I could have followed up better in these relationships.” 

“Wow. That person seems to be hitting home runs in her work. Everyone else seems to love her. I should be trying to do more things like her.” 

Without realizing it, I’ve slipped into thinking like this over the past few weeks. These worries create unnecessary stress and become obstacles to a healthy sense of well-being. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy. I have become so caught up in worrying about what my life should look like that I’ve forgotten to enjoy my life for what it actually is. I am failing to appreciate the beautiful, eternal fruit God is bearing in me. God has given me a life I can enjoy as He loves people in Southeast Asia through me. It’s not always easy, but I treasure it.  

Once again, however, I’ve become weighed down by my own expectations and the ones I imagine other people have for me. I’m choosing to think of my life as one of scarcity while standing in the middle of a harvest. If only I had the courage and wisdom never to slip out of Jesus’ easy, light yoke. But in my flawed humanity I tend to overburden myself under the scrutiny of the most unforgiving taskmaster I’ve ever known—myself.  

As I look toward the rest of this month, self-care, for me, begins with an honest look at what my life actually is—then giving myself permission to be okay with it. I want to learn how to thrive in my current circumstances and enjoy all the good parts of life—comparison-free, expectation-free, and guilt-free. Then I can live meaningfully in these days on earth I’ve been gifted. I can most effectively care for myself and the people around me from a place of peace and rest.