Hi, my name is Mandy, and I’m a control freak. Anyone else?

What is it about us that wants to be in control and fiercely independent? Why do we feel the need to not be “needy?” Throughout our lifetime, we rely on a lot of things outside of our control, most significantly at the beginning and end of life. But all throughout those middle years we kick against our God-given need to rely on Him and others. We believe the lie that we are sufficient in and of ourselves, or as in my case, that I cannot depend on anyone but me.

For those of us called into global work, our dogged self-sufficiency is challenged in countless ways. We ask others to help fund and support our work. We need people to come around us to teach us a new language and how to do life in our new country. We depend on government processes to allow us to do our work as foreigners in their land. We lean on the Body of Christ to exhort us. And we continually rely on our all-sufficient God to graciously sustain us with gospel love throughout.

So then, what tempts us to take back control and do things on our own? Maybe a partner stops supporting our work, our new culture frustrates us, bureaucracy impedes our progress, or the church stops caring for us (at least in ways we want them to care). Anything and anyone that is not God has potential to fail us.

However, the failure of others is not reason to abandon help from them and embrace self-reliance. God is infinitely powerful, wise, and faithful. We can depend on Him whole-heartedly because we have His Son interceding for us. Jesus knows our weaknesses and the weaknesses of those who help us. When God uses imperfect people to meet our needs, we can trust that He knows what is best for us even in their failings and misgivings. Our relying on others is a gospel picture of humility and gracious acceptance of the human state. It reminds us that we are not God, not matter how much we want to be in control.