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The women had good reasons that day to come out from all the towns of Israel with joyful songs and with tambourines and lyres to meet King Saul with singing and dancing. Goliath had been slain and the Philistine army routed. Those women were not just dancing; they were singing: “Saul has slain his thousands and David his tens of thousands.” (1 Samuel 18:7) That refrain, however, stirred Saul into a rage. That sting of jealousy might have seemed like a harmless spark, but it soon ravaged Saul’s heart and left room for no other desire but the strong urge to eliminate the young shepherd boy, David.
Comparison itself is not evil. Comparing can be a good, healthy, and harmless thing when the purpose is to make better decisions in life. However, it can become unhealthy and very dangerous when the one comparing becomes angry, jealous, envious, and paranoid. The latter were emotions that simmered in King Saul’s heart, and in 1 Samuel we see how King Saul became relentlessly obsessed in pursuing David to kill him. (1 Samuel 18–31)
Pause and think about King Saul’s life for a moment. How could it have turned out differently, had he focused on being content in fulfilling God’s purposes for his life, rather than spending most of it pursuing David to kill him?
Now, how about your life? Are you living a contented life or do you constantly compare yourself to others with some of the same emotions as Saul? If you associate more with the latter than the former, I invite you to closely reflect on Saul’s life. Much can be learned about how to not live a discontented life.
A contented life starts with being grateful for who we are and what we have. When we are grateful, we are compelled to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, we value others above ourselves, not looking to our own interests but to the interests of the others. (Philippians 2:3-4)
When was the last time you compared yourself to someone and how did you come to realize that it was a problem?
A few months ago, I started a course to learn a new language. I was thrilled and confident, because, as a polyglot with many years of experience, I was quite certain I would do very well. However, when we received our final exam grade, I was crushed. Devastated and embarrassed, I wondered what had gone wrong. I had studied so hard. I’d never received such a low score in any of my language studies over the years. My emotional condition worsened when students in our class started sharing their higher grades in a social media platform. I started to die on the inside as I compared my grade to theirs.
To make matters worse, a student with one of the highest grades in the class asked how I had done on the exam. I found a way to escape answering his question, but I felt worse than ever–humiliated, depressed, and angry he had called me to inquire.
Later, something very strange started to happen. I noticed how irritated I felt around him, easily losing my patience with his candid participation in class. When I pondered why I couldn’t stand him, I realized I despised the fact that he had received the very grade I believed I deserved.
I was convicted and realized my comparing had built walls of insecurities that I had allowed to hinder my relationship with him. To reverse my negative thoughts and behavior, I decided to: (1) commit myself to learning from my mistakes rather than compete and compare myself with my classmates, (2) rather than react to my friend, I would find ways to purposefully encourage him and praise his participation in class rather than envy him, and (3) rather than suffer in silence, next time I would humbly share my grade and remember l’m still learning and growing and there are always opportunities to do better.