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Articles and workshops abound on the serious challenges and consequences of unmet, unshared, and unrealistic expectations of living and working abroad. Needed and beneficial. Not quite so prevalent are examples of the humor so often found in these hopes.
Humor? Certainly. Expectations are based on what we’ve already experienced or hope will happen. No matter the pre-departure training or communication with experienced colleagues, the unknown awaits. How could it not? Many of my expectations have been met with awkward and far-from-funny consequences. But more have given me a “time to laugh” and unknowingly provided “the best medicine.”
Proverbs 17:22 “A cheerful heart is good medicine but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.”
The cheap erasers on my young students’ pencils made for daily distractions as they rubbed holes in their workbooks with each error. Better quality ones would solve this problem, right? I returned from a weekend shopping trip with a soft, brightly colored eraser for everyone. Did workbook time result in fewer distractions? No, the little gift was a hit. The kids drew tiny pictures in their books and erased them. Over and over again.
Years of foreign teachers had resulted in boxes of papers, lesson plans, and posters in my apartment. My weekend spent organizing, labeling, and tossing would surely be appreciated. As I left, a new padlock secured the closet that held these treasures. Sending the key to my replacement, I was sure that in September I would hear a happy shout. Silence. I inquired and soon heard of a closet with doors still tightly locked together but pried from their hinges. Near the kindling box was a pile of ripped papers and file folders.
My Chinese colleague and I were finally enjoying a mutual class project; a potluck. Though she observed my meatballs’ seasoning differences, we both commented jokingly that in both our cultures they were basically just little round balls. Students arrived with their contributions. Out from the kitchen came my pan of “American meatballs”; a steaming pan of crumbled meat. “The balls were taking too long to cook.”
Yes, these could be times to weep, but God, help me know when it’s a time to laugh!
After you’d been in your new home a year or two, what’s something you think would help newcomers with expectation issues?
In my first country hospitality was big. As a teacher of adults in the US it was rare that we met in each other’s homes. We had class and school parties but they were held in the classroom or on campus. Sometimes we had events in parks. So I was surprised when my new teammates were always having students come over and that we were invited occasionally to neighbors’ homes. I loved it but I have since seen others shocked by this –they saw it as an invasion of their personal space. This little cultural insight might have made the difference between them coming to this country. But if someone shared all the pluses of having people in one’s home it might be a big plus! It could be pointed out that you can host with a neighbor – if that’s less threatening. I just think they should know it’s common and students will expect it.