“If you struggle with anxiety or depression you’re not cut out to serve overseas.” 

I was told this when I tried to seek help—after years of dealing with earthquakes, miscarriages, men holding me up with knives, severe civil unrest, and also the usual intense happenings in a global worker’s life. There were other traumatic events I will not mention. 

As if a human who could not take these things in stride without fear was inadequate to serve God. But here’s the thing—that is not a healthy or normal perspective. 

Fear is the body’s normal response to a real or perceived threat. I needed to ask why I was feeling fear and get help to deal with it. I was told there were resources available, but in my circumstances felt it was unsafe to reach out.  

I learned to push normal emotional responses down so no one would question whether I could deal with the impossible. I was afraid of disrupting my family’s life if my problems were indeed unusual (looking back I see my fears were common among global workers). 

There were dangers where we lived, but there were many more good things. We were often happy and wanted to serve there. However during difficult seasons, it seemed the unspoken expectation was to trivialize or over spiritualize issues.  

I learned to look okay instead of working to actually be okay. Whenever my family traveled out of country I felt so safe on planes I usually ended up fainting—an indicator I needed help. When we moved away to transition to a new life, I had a seizure from stress. My doctor said I needed help processing traumatic events. I agreed, but had tried before and felt there was no safe place. I felt no one would listen without drastic consequences or unfair judgment. Someone told my husband my “problems” could ruin his chances at ministry success. So I locked hurt away. This isn’t holiness or ministry dedication. This is unhealthy and does not honor the way God designed brains and bodies to heal. 

I learned I couldn’t push fear down. It always came back stronger, affecting everything and everyone around me. Counseling and rest was crucial in restoring my mental and physical health. I learned how to choose a better path. I’m thriving in my new situation and have life giving resources for dealing with issues when they arise. Working through pain was excruciating, but necessary.  

Instead of ignoring persistent fear and stress, ask why it’s happening. The Proverbs say to guard your heart because it affects everything in life. Paul says to take thoughts captive. But do not stop there. Maybe you can talk regularly with a trustworthy friend or mentor. Maybe you need to seek licensed counseling. God cares about every part of your health— even if you feel no one else does. You don’t have to be alone. While life will never be perfect, balanced, healthy living is vital to thrive, experience God, and serve others.